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Maybe they think of you as a friends collector and don't realize you want to interact with the people in your friends list. If there's no reason to remove or add people to your friends list, don't. In my experience, the posts that get lots of likes and comments are the ones about important things like new babies, serious illnesses, graduations.
Everyday pictures and status updates don't seem to get as much attention. It doesn't mean that people aren't looking, but there is less need to engage. So, maybe edit yourself down to the important stuff? Personally, I'm less likely to comment on or like posts for someone who updates constantly. It seems a little self-involved and it gets a little boring seeing the same people talking about the same stuff all the time.
I'm not sure what the actual algorithms are, but I tend to get more status updates from people I interact with. Have you tried interacting with more friends on FB? It could just be that you get muted from their streams due to a lack of interaction posted by gadha at AM on July 15, [ 2 favorites ]. It is not a competition. It is a bulletin board where you put things of potential interest to share with people. Also, if all your friends also have friends, their "most recent" newsfeeds probably go by very quickly and plenty of things get missed.
Whenever I write something about my deepest innermost feelings, or come up with a really witty comment, or post a gorgeous, well-framed, in-focus photo, I get maybe comments. When I say, "I'm having tomato soup for lunch! The internet is finicky and weird, and Facebook even more so.
Worrying about it is bound to drive anyone insane. It's not making you happy. This is a genuine answer. Watch this video , reflect on it, then think about deleting your profile. Seriously, if you have been driven to ask this question, you've clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this and twisting yourself up about it. No-one has 'friends'. Seeking attention from an enormous mass of people who would have little to no reason to be connected with you if Facebook didn't exist is a recipe for feeling down on yourself.
Or I might delete it. Whatever, really, it's just a website. I will get back to your post when I have thought it out, but thanks for your honesty : bearette: I have mentioned in my original post that I don't muse like this on FB.
In fact, I don't update everyday - just from time to time. It's hard to explain without you actually seeing my Facebook. May I ask, however, how I appear overbearing? Thank you. That's why it bothers me too that there's no reciprocity. I have been trying too hard, I suppose. Judith Bulteran Jihad: Not necessarily. Many of my college friends are using Picnik - it's the "trend" these days. DoubleHappy: True, true - there could be some factors, such as my friends not seeing my updates in their feed, being too busy, etc.
It's just that it's been commonplace for such a long time, that it's became frustrating. We do talk in person as well. This issue has been going on for literally years, and it's only now that I have finally talked about it. However, the people who I deleted were people I never talked to anymore, or who never bothered to connect with me. Maybe that's what it's like in my "circle", too? Sad, huh? I'm talking maybe status updates a week, and maybe 2 photo albums in a week. Do you hang around with groups of people where being popular is incredibly important and where unpopular people get bitchy comments behind their back?
In that case, you need new friends. That kind of shit is unpleasant, unnecessary and just serves to make everyone miserable. Or are you really just finding it difficult to make true close friends, and seeing all this interaction is evidence that your supposedly close friends are closer with other folks? In which case: Making close friends is easier to do away from Facebook. Go and invite someone out for a coffee instead. Try getting a time consuming hobby that involves interacting with people, away from Facebook.
Then you'll be interacting with people regularly in an appropriately reciprocal fashion, and you'll probably care less about what the people do on Facebook.
Oh, and nobody else is looking at how popular you are on Facebook, or how many comments you get. They are all too busy worrying about how popular they are on Facebook. I wish! I think we're starting to get to the actual problem here. Just to pull one thread out of that and hey, I'm long past college age so I could be wrong , but isn't the best way to make friends at college to get out from behind the screen and go do stuff in the real world?
It's my sense that college students find out about what is going on in the real world from Facebook. Without it, they don't have an easy way to find out what is going on on campus. Maybe the OP should think about using Facebook as a way to get updates about events and make plans rather than the way he's using it now, which is causing him to feel bad. Facebook can be used a lot of ways. It's just a matter of finding the best way for you. Yeah, also, you don't 'have' to do anything. When I ditched Facebook, I started emailing and calling my family and friends again.
That worked fine. The world didn't end. Whenever I have something in my life that is becoming emotionally draining and difficult to manage, I ask myself, what's the worst that could happen if I stop doing this? Also, what is stopping doing this going to allow me to do.
Install this extension on your browser, if it's Firefox, or find an equivalent one. Whitelist everything but Facebook. Hide the icon. At the end of a normal week, check how much time you spent staring at Facebook, seething because people haven't commented. Then think about how you could use that time.
Studying for one. Going out and meeting people for another. Then watch the video upthread again and take the plunge. The world will not end if you delete your Facebook account. Here's how you do that permanently. Response by poster: emilyw: Well, most of my friends on Facebook who I wish could pay attention to my Facebook are good people, but I'm from a small university where we all are Deaf, and cliques are very existent.
The truth is, I didn't participate alot in events and parties up to my last year of college, so I'm trying to make up for lost time. I wasn't in the popular fraternity on campus, as well, and I do kind of regret that. I know that makes me sound like a wannabe, but I have never experienced what it's truly like to be "popular" and I was hoping Facebook could change that. It hasn't. I guess that's pretty much the crux of it. Leon: Can you clarify more on what you meant by my comment to that "fresh serving of pain on the hour" thread is relevant to this?
I hope I don't sound rude at all - just wondering. Happy Dave: I'm thinking about that. I also like vincele 's idea, and am still mulling it all over. I guess what really bothers me is that I think I post interesting content and pictures of my adventures road trips, time with family, etc. Of course, you can argue I'm being biased, and my content really isn't that interesting. Maybe it isn't to them Its true though. Seriously, if you're getting this worked up about it, maybe you should close your account.
You say you have facebook friends I have around 60 facebook friends - I keep my list to family and people I'm actually or was in the past friends with. Not just anybody I've ever met. I keep my likes and comments, mostly, to friends that I'm closest with. I realise that most of my friends comments are really intended for their inner circle and I don't want to be the creepy facebook stalker that comments on stuff that wasn't really aimed at me. Its nice to see what they're up to and connect from time to time but I'm not going to try and inject myself into their current lives through facebook.
You say you're 25 and in college - are you older than the rest of your classmates? The only person who regularly comments on my facebook activities is my boyfriend's mum. Sad, I know but I'm not losing any sleep over it. On preview I see that you've responded to every single post - do you do that on facebook too? That always comes across as needy and desperate, especially if these people are reciprocating. Its very off-putting. You're also saying you're trying to use facebook to make friends and make up for lost time in your first 2 years at college - that's not how it works.
These people aren't your friends and they don't care about your 'adventures'. College friendships are usually formed in the first couple of weeks of college, you're not going to make up for 2 or 3?
That seems excessive to me Facebook is not a substitute for in person interaction. Go make real friends in the real world. This is how I use facebook, if it helps. I follow 5 people on facebook, 50 on twitter, and pipe all the status updates, from both services, into tweetdeck.
I never, ever, post anything on facebook but I pull the information I need from it. Can you clarify more on what you meant by my comment to that "fresh serving of pain on the hour" thread is relevant to this? Ok, over there you wrote: "I have some friends who I try really hard to gain their trust and admiration, and I feel like I get nothing in return. You sound like you're kinda desperate for approval. I'm honestly trying to help, not judge. And I'm not going to do the knee-jerk "go get therapy!
I'm very wary of that myself. I also see you're 25 but in college Or are you in grad school? When I was at university, I found that the gap between 18 and 21 was pretty wide. I've posted too much on this thread already so I'm going to bow out now, but good luck, I hope you find a way to use the tool that works for you, or you break free of it. You need to interact with people in order for your stuff to show up on their "Top News" feed. Most of your probably never even see it unless they're bored enough to click on "Most Recent" and actually look at everything.
Response by poster: missmagenta: How exactly is replying to every post that people had made "needy and desperate"? Most of those people have asked me questions, so I consolidated my answers in a single post. It's also courteous to acknowledge all replies even those you don't agree with! Also, you said those people are not my friends, and they don't care about my 'adventures. Like some others upthread suggested, my updates got lost in the mix, they didn't get around to seeing the pictures, or you could be right - but the way you said it comes across as absolute and kind of harsh.
I do have friends in the real world. Leon: Don't worry about posting too much : your input has been helpful, believe it or not! To answer your question, yes, that's pretty much what I was referring to in that thread, and a few issues with a close friend at the time which has been subsequently resolved. And, yes, I'm older than most of the people at my college, but there are some older than me who are well-known.
I may be kind of desperate for approval, I admit. That's why I feel unsure about everything and Facebook is just feeding my insecurity. What doublehappy said. Especially true when your Facebook friends are either in the partying photos or know people in the partying photos. Read and absorb; people are trying to help.
Don't feel compelled to respond to every comment here, unless someone is asking for more information. I'm in a different demographic than you, but I find that most of my really active Facebook posts are when I'm asking friends for opinions or information "Where's a great place for pizza? My "work sucks" or "Just got back from vacation! It should not be under-emphasized that FB automatically turned on an option to only show the people with whom you most interact.
Unless the meme about it spread through your friends, they've likely got it on. To be blunt, your question and subsequent threadsitting sadly cry out "look at me!! Go be social in a less asynchronous environment online or off. People can sense neediness, and you're clearly feeling needy right now. You would do well to force yourself to unplug from facebook for a while. That could help you both not care so much and get reactions more in line with what you're looking for.
So, no one has actual friends in real life. You do realize a facebook friend isn't necessarily a real friend, right? I'm much more likely to comment on my friends' facebook pages than on the pages of people I don't really care about. On that note, you mention you were hoping to make up for lost time and your lack of popularity through facebook -- sorry, it doesn't work that way.
First, you can't become popular through facebook. Second, trying to rush the development of friendship makes you seem needy, which turns people off. Other random thoughts: Two photo albums a week seems excessive. And don't text people about your pictures -- it makes you seem needy, it might annoy them by forcing them to respond by text, and once they have done so they're not going to also "like" it on facebook. Wilson at AM on July 15, [ 1 favorite ]. I see three possibilities: 1 Your content is interesting but people don't want to respond 2 Your content isn't interesting to your audience 3 Your audience isn't seeing your content I think 3 is unlikely to be the culprit if you're posting often.
Therefore it's got to be either that what you're posting just isn't interesting to your audience or that they find it interesting but purposely don't want to respond. Boiling it down even further, if you're pursuing change here, you've got to figure out how to be more interesting or figure out why your audience doesn't want to encourage you. I have an acquaintance who is also a Facebook friend. In real life, his tendency to insert cheesy puns and one-liners into every single conversation is tolerated because he's a nice guy and he means well.
He's like a Catskills comedian--desperate for yuks. Most of us usually give wan smiles and change the subject. On Facebook, however, his bits are usually met with silence or a single meager "like.
Maybe you're similar to my acquaintance. Response by poster: If 1 my audience doesn't want to encourage me is the culprit, then how should I go about finding out why? If you come across an app that claims to offer this ability, please report the app. Ignoring and blocking are the same thing, really. The person that is being ignored or blocked can no longer see anything from you. If the person in question signed in after receiving messages from you and they are still not displayed, they may have been ignored.
Why would a message be sent but not delivered? Message sent means it has been sent from your side. It could be a server problem, internet problem, settings problem, or anything else. They can still call you on Messenger provided they are still your friend. If you do not want any form of contact with them through Messenger or Facebook then you have to unfriend them.
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